Today, we will discuss the topic of bullying and what it all really means. Bullying is an age old problem plaguing children for years. Bullying is intentional tormenting in physical, verbal, or emotional ways. It can range from hitting, shoving, name-calling, threats, and mocking to extorting money and possessions. Some kids bully by shunning others and spreading rumors about them. Others use social media or electronic messaging to taunt others or hurt their feelings. This is often called cyberbullying.
A bully can turn something like going to the bus stop or just being the new kid at school like Milo, a nightmare for kids. Bullying can leave deep emotional scars. And in extreme situations, it can involve violent threats or someone getting seriously hurt.
Most kids have been teased by a sibling or a friend at some point. And it’s not usually harmful when done in a playful, friendly, and mutual way, and both kids find it funny. But when teasing becomes hurtful, unkind, and constant, it crosses the line into bullying and needs to stop.
Dealing with Bullies
Now that we have an idea of what bullying is, let’s figure out how to deal with it. Kids are often reluctant to tell adults about bullying because they feel embarrassed and ashamed that it’s happening, or worry that their parents will be disappointed, upset, or reactive.
Sometimes kids feel like it’s their own fault, that if they looked or acted differently it wouldn’t be happening. Sometimes they’re scared that if the bully finds out that they told, it will get worse. Or kids worry that their parents will urge them to fight back when they’re scared to. But it’s important that kids and young adults realize, it is NEVER their fault!
Most schools have bullying policies and anti-bullying programs. In addition, many states have bullying laws and policies. Find out about the laws in your community.
Who Do I Tell?
Parents can help kids learn how to deal with bullying if it happens. Or, if a parent is not immediately available, let someone at school (the principal, school nurse, or a counselor or teacher) know about the situation.
The best way to deal with bullying is always TELL SOMEONE! Many young adults don’t like tattling or “snitching,” so many instances of bullying go unreported until it is a serious problem. But ultimately, adults are much better equipped at dealing with the situation of bullies than children.
What to Do if No One is Around?
1. Avoid the bully and use the buddy system. Use a different bathroom if a bully is nearby and don’t go to your locker when there is nobody around. Make sure you have someone with you so that you’re not alone with the bully. Buddy up with a friend on the bus, in the hallways, or at recess — wherever the bully is. Offer to do the same for a friend.
2. Hold the anger. It’s natural to get upset by the bully, but that’s what bullies thrive on. It makes them feel more powerful. Practice not reacting by crying or looking red or upset. It takes a lot of practice, but it’s a useful skill for keeping off of a bully’s radar. Sometimes it’s useful to practice “cool down” strategies such as counting to 10, writing down angry words, and taking deep breaths.
3. Act brave, walk away, and ignore the bully. Firmly and clearly tell the bully to stop, then walk away. Practice ways to ignore the hurtful remarks, like acting uninterested or texting someone on your cell phone. By ignoring the bully, you’re showing that you don’t care. Eventually, the bully will probably get bored with trying to bother you.
-Mrs. Goblin
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