In severe cases, there may be a need for further intervention to stop the bully from gaining momentum within the school environment. It is crucial in these cases to get the school officials involved, as failing to intervene could result in very damaging consequences for both the bully and the victim.
Talk To All Involved
The first step is contacting your child’s teacher to let him or her know that you have been made aware of a bullying situation between your child and another child or children.
Second, contact your school’s principal and let him or her know what is going on and that you have already communicated the situation to the teacher.
Third, request an immediate meeting with the teacher and the principal to discuss the situation.
Do not wait to intervene. If it is a bullying situation, then it is unlikely to get better. In fact, it will probably escalate.
*Do not wait and don’t let anybody put you off. *
At the time of the meeting with your child’s principal and teacher, discuss as many of the relevant facts that you have gleaned from your child’s account as you can. Keep your conversation to the facts as you know them. Do your best not to let emotion or blame into the conversation. People are much more likely to help you if you remain calm, focused, and polite.
The faculty members must know everything that is going on if they are going to help.
For example:
- Who is the bully?
- First and last name
- What exactly the child is doing to be a bully:
- Name-calling, physical assaults, rumors, exclusion, etc.
- How long the bullying has been going on:
- One-time incident (probably not bullying), week, month, etc.
- Where the bullying is taking place:
- In the classroom, in the library, on the playground, etc.
- When the bullying is taking place:
- Lunch, recess, during class etc.
Lay it all out.
Most teachers and principals take bullying very seriously, and they do not want it to happen in their schools.
This process should accomplish several things:
Assures your child that you are there for them and you are going to help them.
- Lets the teacher know that you are aware of the problem.
- Lets the principal know there is a problem.
- Lets the bully know that he is being watched and authority figures are involved.
- Word will spread quickly among office staff, other teachers, etc., that there is a problem, and they will become focused on the situation.
- Sends a clear message to all students that bullying is serious and will not be tolerated or go unnoticed.
However, from the victim’s point of view, this may not present the best solution. The child may very well be worried about repercussions from the bully, especially if the bully is subjected to disciplinary action by school authorities.
As a parent, the best approach would be to take extra measures to ensure the identity of the child is not revealed in any way and also to insist the school take precautions.
Following Up
Many times, the simple yet powerful steps outlined above will make a bullying situation go away, but not always.
Following up is critical, even if you think the situation is under control. You must continue to follow up with your child on a daily basis for the next several weeks. Also, periodically keep the teacher and principal advised of the situation, especially if the problem starts again. After a month or so, if the issue has stopped, your job is done.
If it has not stopped, you will need to take further action to keep your child physically, mentally, and emotionally safe.
If the problem does not go away, you will need to follow through with school officials according to the school’s policy. If you do not get quick action from the staff, push the issue by whatever legal, ethical, and moral means necessary. You can do such things as contact the school district, file a police report, or get your attorney involved.
*Take Notes. Don’t Rely on your Memory
Do not confront the bullying child or their family directly. This will only make you look like the aggressor and probably get you in a substantial amount of trouble.
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